The violet stardust
Softly falling to the earth
Glittering heaven
Grey souls and shadows
Cold and silent, whisper in
The dark before dawn
The moonlight flashes
On his blade, silver like the
Cold steel of his eyes
Golden light of dawn
Breaks through the trees, awakens
The fire and dew
Heart in a locket
Hold my answer to your prayer
And know I love you
Wonder why, but no
One tells you. What is this pain
That clutches at my heart?
Life eternal, shine
Forever; let me live on,
Or else swoon to death.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Hi, Princess! Pretty nice haikus. My favorite line was probably in the last stanza - "life eternal, shine forever". All of these sound beautiful, they make up a lovely story. I'm not sure, however, what you meant in the end by "wonder why, but no one tells you..." Who doesn't tell him what? I understand though that it's hard to tell a story using a specific format, especially through haikus, so a part of the text needs to be interpreted on the behalf of the reader. I also had some discrepancies on your meter because I thought I spotted a wrong number of syllables in "the fire and dew" (that's four syllables, instead of five) and in "hold my answer to your prayer" (that's eight syllables, I think). Overall, I enjoyed reading your piece; kudos to you - you have a certain style that's hard to achieve, and lots of creativity.
Thanks! the funny thing is, I wrote every single one of those while taking the ACT test because I finished really early and was bored lol. im glad u like them!
Hello Warrior Princess! I'll be your reviuewer for today!
Well, you've got a nice set of Haikus here.
Throughout them, you have great imagery and rythm. I love how you ended with:
It fit for the ending. You really show emotions, even in few words. It was really nice, so keep up the good work!